Hour 1- goodbye Clint, hello Nick?

I'm not gonna lie I didn't even bother watching the second group date and end of last weeks episode. That date sounded incredibly stupid followed by just more selfish ridiculousness from these trash bag vacation whores that ABC cast. Clint what a massive disappointment. He was just starting to grow on me and it turns out he's just there for the free time off. I honestly think the whole JJ thing is just staged for noteriety to try to get a couple extra weeks out of his free vaca. 

Gross. Everyone's gross. Except Ben Z. Maybe a couple others but honestly I'm not sure I trust anyone anyone more. 

Tonight I'm drinking: 

Fruity and refreshing. I'm pretty sure the half bottle I have left from last night isn't going to cut it. Second hour may have a new wine of choice. Tonight's yoga pants are an adorable heathered bright blue pair- my first foyer into "exciting" leggings. I've got two new pairs from American eagle that I got on sale coming in the mail. I'm pretty stoked for next week for basically that reason alone. 

Also I'm not picking words tonight because Buzzfeed did all the work for me- thanks Clarisse and Amanda for letting me know about this gem!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/laraparker/we-made-a-drinking-game-for-the-bachelorette-youre-welcome#.je5WDK2PP

OooooooK here we go! 

Kaitlyn is stalking around outside voiceovering about Clints douechy ness interspersed with him talking about how confident he is. 

Who the Eff is Corey?! Thanks for your thoughts dude. 

She pulls Clint aside... And he talks about JJ. She's stuck yet again with a guy fighting her about staying (but who isn't really into her) This is becoming a theme and I feel bad for her. They picked a really crappy group of guys for her even if they seed great at first brush. Selfish selfish selfish selfish. I love that when she's done she done though. She's not gonna waste her time when it's already having issues and it's only been 3 weeks. 

Hahahaha oh my gosh this JJ / Clint drama is so ridiculous. From saying he will defend him to the end to telling him to appogize in front of everyone is suuuuch a grab for more camera time. The show down in the hall way more camera time. Ughhhh can we go back to cuddling on couch with Ben Z? Like for real. And now JJ's crying? I can't even with this shit. Slapping himself? I'm currently chuuuuuugging my wine. That next bottles gonna be open by the next commercial at this rate. I hate this season.

Haha I'm in no way attracted to Jared but I love this "JJ and Clint's break up is the most dramatic in Bachelorette history" 

I'm glad she's not in sequins for once. She has some nice bedazzling but that's it. 

So no rose ceremony thank goodness. Let's get on to THIS weeks dates shall we? We are off to NYC! 

Ugh... And the first appearance of Nick Viall. I hated this guy on Andi's season and I'm pretty confident he's going to be the complete undoing of Kaitlyn's. So we are I'm for another angst filled episode. Great. 

Hey guys "New York is definitely some place" Ben Z can see himself falling in love. Shocker. We are going on a group date "keeping our love fresh". I'm liking kaitlyns NYC style that's for sure. In classic Kaitlyn form... They are rapping. Kill me. Doug E Fresh is there to guide them. Bring back Amy Shumer. Shawn just looks confused. He's a country music guy which actually kinda pleasantly surprises me I got more of an indie vibe off of him. I mean either would be fine.

Can we talk about Justin's weird hair for a second? The center part was like straight our of My So Called Life, now there's like a weird flip? Gross. 

JJ listens to broadway show tunes. Seriously where did they find this guy. Ummm so nick is hanging out with Sharleen at the back of the crowd? 

Ben Z is terrible, I want to make love to him in the sweater. Mommy like. 

Well hey there Corey! Where the actual fuck did he come from?! The most like unexpected guy to actually kill it for sure being a straight laced white buy banker.

And we have the entrance if nick. I'm not sure what kardashley brings to this situation. Sharleen and her hot fiancé live in NYC so that makes sense a little. No one (I'm pretty sure including Kaitlyn) liked kardashley. 

So yet again some random selfish guy is taking Kaitlyn away from the good decent guys that are there to get to know her. Theme for the season everyone drink. So now they are wasting their group time where they get to actually know eachother talking about Nick. What a waste. Totally fair that it's making the guys question the point. If she's so into Nick that she's gonna bring him on why waste their time. She sees him for the second time in person EVER and they already have that intimate boyfriend girlfriend contact thing going. You know that just like lean into eachother thing. This will only go down hill from here. 

And they start making out. I have to say in Kaitlyns defense- it was very possible that after night 1 she coulda been out on her ass. Britt coulda been the bachelorette. So whatev. I just wish it were someone less skeezy. Tanner is right we all know the same stuff. He's a doueche. 

Jared gets the one on one date. He seems like a genuine guy but he does the least for my lady parts. Rodent looking restaurant manager is just not for me. 

Justin gets the rose for basically saying he's ok with her bringing on another dude. So he'll be gone by next week.