Tonight I'm drinking: 
St Suprey Dollar hide Sav Blanc. Bold tropical fruit flavors are pairing great with my roasted coconut chips. Yum. I didn't pick drinking words tonight. It's more fun when I know more of you can drink along
Digging Kaitlyns hair color. Not loving this god awful predictable script they just forced her to read while pretending to rise and shine in full make up.
Harrison's got K in the hot seat going over the basics again. Feelings.... Kissing dudes... Britt... The whole dream of proposal.... Blah blah blah.
We are still talking about who voted for who... And drinking mimosas in their PJ's. Cute.
And we catch up with Britt, she's wearing a bunch of plastic bracelets and converse and calling her mom. But guys she has a shocking amount of peace about it, which I'm sure has nothing to do with Brady being right outside her door. "This could be the start of something really great".... Ooooofcourse
Date cards here we go! Damn Ben Z is so freaking cute. Love the fake enthusiasm as each name is called. JJ is continuing to work his pompous ass angle.
It's like hurting my soul to listen to Kaitlyn have to spout these ridiculous platitudes. "Who will protect me who will fight for me". Barf. Oh dear, poor Laila Ali, "boxing is a lot like relationships...."
Ben H is pretty cute too. Poor Kaitlyn looks ridiculous in those shorts. Oww foreshadowing..... Cooper (aka LL Cool J, I will not call him by his name anymore) is spending too much time training and not trying to talk to K. Quick question.... Did we learn NOTHING from Ames getting knocked the F out
in Ashley's season?? Do not have a bunch of competitive testosterone heads FIGHT EACH OTHER! Ugh bachelor you have a short memory clearly...
Thankfully they ping through the rounds pretty quickly. Ummm is it just me or was Ben Z's job title something related to fitness in the opener and now it's "Entrepreneur". Whatever he's still my favorite. Kaitlyn looks bored as hell but I think it's supposed to be her "I'm worried" face... Jared is down... (Again clearly nothing learned. RIP Ames... Or on bachelor pad. Or whatever. Cleavland maybe?) well the good news is Jared is walking away. He's got a headache but don't worry he's fine guys!!! The paramedic is on it though! Jared is on his way to hospital.
Jesus Ben is so darn adorable. I want him to be the Bachelor so bad it hurts. Authentically well timed life story. Doesn't seem like it's a play just telling about who he is.
I don't know who white pants guy is but he's pretty cute as well. But his time is cut short! By a note! "Come outside I need to see you right now!" .... Oh thank god it's Jared. Aaaand he goes for the kiss! It actually looks like a pretty good one even though I can't say I'm particularly into him.
Ugh JJ. What a goob. Just stop. No one likes the cocky guy.
Ooooohhhh our guy gets the first impression rose!!! Yea buddy! I see him going far, preferably to the third runner up so he can be the bachelor ;)
Clint is on the one on one date, thus far no real feelings about him. Cute I guess? I hate photo shoot dates. Bach crew loooooves them. Oh good another bullshot job title! "Conceptual underwater photographer" COME.ON. They love putting K in sparkles that's for sure. What I really want to know is where is Jimmy Kimmel?!?! K totally hit it off with him on her one on one back on Chris' season he should definitely be her spirit guide this season.
Oh Tony.... Someone's listened to WAY too many 80's love self help tapes.
Clints eyes look scary as heck underwater. OH MY HELL WHAT IS THAT THING ON HIS NECK?!?!? Good god don't they have a dermatologist on staff? That sucker is terrifying. Gross gross gross. But I guess the pictures are pretty. They should have tried to recreate the DiCaprio Danes R&J underwater kiss. Iconic.
Alright date card #3. Tony is still spouting random hippie dippy shit. Kaitlyn is "looking for a man who will stand up for me" JJ continues to try to out douche himself.
Clint seems boring as F. "You're great" "no you're great" "cool" "cool"
Tony Tony Tony.... Just waiting for the moment that he calls her Britt to her face.
Well that's the end of hour one!! Can't wait to see how the second group date goes!
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